Part of the featured topic series,
The New Year Ahead
Every now and then my brain takes over, it kicks in strongly, trying to follow-up on a thread, a lead, something I have found, some clues or loose ends that I feel are connected and I try intellectually to find those connections. It’s like I am pushed into finding these clues. However, lately it often feels like a struggle to connect them and I have a hard time grasping the whole picture or even all the loose parts – the parts I have found earlier and also seeing which of them leads to what. This is very frustrating since I am used to being able to draw conclusions fast. I feel as though I should be getting somewhere, but it often just leads to headache, I somehow get stuck.
It feels slightly like the battle of words you often see in cartoons: between the small white angel and the red devil around the cartoon’s head, trying to convince it to go for the good solution and the egoistical option respectively. When thinking of it, it’s often the red devil who wins, at least for a few minutes. That’s what this is sometimes like… being lured into what seems like a great idea, finding a clever solution, but finding it while hitting your head into a brick wall is never a good solution, it only leads to headache, as I so obviously have experienced! Luckily I am no cartoon, so the physical brick wall is not there!
I give up! I am not going to do this this anymore! This will be my new year’s resolution! I will not try to force anything out, it’s just too much struggle lately and takes too much of my energy and it’s not that I suddenly have become stupid… at least I hope it isn’t… [smirk] These things just do not seem to work as they once did.
When I instead let go, let the creative flow kick in, it’s not a struggle anymore and I get inspired and it comes to me automatically when the time is right. Then, when I combine intelligence and inspiration – WOW!! That’s when I really get somewhere and that’s a pretty amazing feeling, which also is different from before, so this whole matter is not a bad thing at all. Actually, that part not only comes more often lately, but also more flowing, so if you ask me if I think it’s worth it? To exchange pure intellectual sharpness for intellect combined with inspiration, I would have to say: YES!!! Definitely so!!
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Love it! This resonates with me because I don’t think struggling or pushing ultimately gets you anywhere (but frustrated) – it’s when you let inspiration and creativity take over that you really get somewhere! Thanks for the reminder. : )
Well Yvonne, you’ve beautifully written my inner struggle; yes I’ve made it a struggle, as you have and I am sure others; Jill referenced it as well. Why not just let it flow. I once said that stopping to hang on to a thought (good or bad) is stopping the natural fluid flow of our life energy. I know how I hang on to those nasty things, harboring negativity, examining and disecting! It’s the darn resistance that causes the pain.. Thank you!
Wow, I need to pay more attention to the undercurrents in these articles! You too are writing about this process of becoming more attuned and aligned with (what I call) the living field. No need to dominate life anymore, just synchronize with the field, let it inform you… (Jill’s limbo listening phase, Velma’s acknowledgement of contentment, Jackie’s allowing of unfolding). The divine feminine hath returned!
Thank you! I think it’s a lot about control, or at least have been for me, trying to keep control, to be able to predict what will happen, what results we can expect, but if I am to live in the NOW and enjoy the moment I also have to let go of the need of having control. When following the flow, I just know that what I am doing is right and will have a good outcome and in that I don’t really ever feel the need of control…hm.. interesting, had not thought of that!
Suzanne, it’s rather interesting, when I read the different articles and the responses here they are all interconnected. What is commented on in one article relates to another, without it being expressed clearly. We don’t just see the topic at hand but have a holistic discussion, weaving the different experiences together. I also relate this to something quite common in female conversations: jumping between topics but always in a connected way, something that at times have been expressed to me, by men, as seemingly being very unfocused and unclear, but it’s never to the women taking part in the discussion. I hope no man visiting HG feels this though!! :)