Part of the featured topic series,
The New Year Ahead
On this first day back to work in 2011, a coworker was telling me a sweet story about his six-year-old daughter. He said that she was so excited for Christmas, she posted a sign on the front door of their house that said, “Welcome, Santa!” He enjoyed watching her excitement as she posted it to the door frame, while hearing from her how she was *sure* that Santa would feel especially welcome to their home because of her efforts.
That story popped into my mind as I was beginning to think about this topic – the new year ahead. What if we would all do something similar to that little girl, and greet the new year with a big banner that said, “Welcome, 2011!” Wouldn’t that be the right attitude to have… and a great way to usher in the new year?
But like many of you, that is not the only thing that I think about when I think about the new year ahead… welcoming it with open arms. In fact, I have an equal amount of trepidation about what the new year might bring. Along with the excitement, I have a little anxiety. Along with optimism, I have some doubts. Along with goals, I think about the need to “pace myself” and acknowledge the realities of what it will take to see these goals come to fruition.
It’s not easy to welcome change… of any kind. We tend to grasp the door handle ahead of us while still keeping one foot firmly planted in the current room, because crossing that threshold might bring something fantastic, but it might bring something ominous, as well.
And isn’t it in that place of “limbo” that many of us like to dwell? Why is that? I think it might be because you may just need to be there, for a little while. It’s easier to hang out there for a while before making a decision that may be irreversible. Let’s not really leave the past completely behind, or fully embrace the future. Let’s just kind of hang out here in the in-between place for a while, until we know better where to go.
I used to think that limbo was bad – in fact, life teaches you that. There are many common everyday expressions used in conversation, that confirm that:
- “Don’t get stuck in limbo”
- “He who hesitates is lost”
- “(Bleep!) or get off the pot”
…and the list goes on.
I don’t think that anymore. Sure, you don’t want to get stuck in a state of paralysis, at any time in your life, where you are absolutely terrified to make a move of any kind. But, limbo can serve a purpose, too. It’s what you do when in limbo that matters.
Like, pay close attention. Pay attention to what your mind and soul are telling you while you are there – examine why are you afraid to walk through the door. Think about why you can’t leave the past behind. Review what lessons you might be required to learn before you feel confident to move again.
Don’t get stuck there, but fully use the time in limbo to its fullest – in order to connect with yourself again. And you will eventually move. Look back on all the times you were in limbo in the past. You eventually moved on, didn’t you? It’s not a permanent condition.
One of my favorite actors, Morgan Freeman, once said, “Learning how to be still, to really be still and let life happen – that stillness becomes a radiance.”
Even the Bible (Ecclesiastes) tells us that there’s a time for everything: a time to be born, a time to die…a time to weep, and a time to laugh. A time to speak, and a time to be silent…
…to everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven.
So if you find yourself at a standstill over the threshold from the past to the future, this new year, know that you’re likely not alone.
You’ll find your time to move.
You always do.
Copyright © 2011 Jill Farrand. All Rights Reserved.
Hi Jill, What a great and timely piece, and thank you so very much. I think I am in limbo, but more 3/4 the way into what I want to do; but still with one hand holding on to the door of “what I used to do,” as a sort of, “just in case.” Just in case what; it doesn’t work out, or God forbid, I don’t move that tiny little bit further ahead that remains to venture? As you said, good or not so good, all change seems to scrape at the very fibre of our beings. I know I am a creature of habit, comfortable in the known – and yet, perhaps not, for if you look at a few pages of my life, I’ve changed jobs and changed homes and…the list goes on, ever seeking the new. So, 2011 – another year of 365 days to be lived, one day at a time.
Thank you!
Thank you, Velma. No shame in taking a little time to recalibrate your internal GPS…it needs that from time to time, I truly believe that. Thanks again…
Jill this reminds me of one of the most important things I’ve ever learned, that being the ability to allow. Egad there’s so much that could be said about the way our culture trains us to plan and execute things based on our own preconceived notions of how something should be or unfold. There’s no room for anything in that kind of perspective and then we’re certainly disappointed when Murphy and his laws show up to judge.
Over the last few years, I’ve done a kind of reboot that moved me out of that mindset and into a more… flexible one. That’s the wrong word… it’s more like a symbiotic relationship, but to say that requires that I answer the question, “With what?” That’s a complex answer, but for the purpose of this comment, we’ll just say, the whole of life, or the living field. So much of our lives are intertwined with that field yet most people never even catch a conscious glimpse of it. Once you begin to consciously sense it and then work within it, you realize you no longer have to be an oppressive master of the details of your life. You simply allow the harmony of the relationship, or your place in it, to do half the work.
I’m rambling. Limbo to me, is that place where you’re listening for that living field. I think we all know it’s there on some level and limbo is where we stop to listen, whether we realize it or not. Fantastic insights my friend! :)
Thank you, my friend. : ) I’ve not always been very good at allowing (better in some areas than others) – but I’m getting the hang of it and realizing the importance of it more and more. I haven’t heard of the “living field,” but it’s funny – I seem to understand it on some level, now that I read it. I feel it. When you said, “you simply allow the harmony of the relationship, or your place in it, to do half the work,” I completely understood it. It rises up to meet you and because it does, you know your efforts are being directed in the right place. You feel a communion with it.
Ramble away anytime, because your rambling is so fascinating to me! : )